How to handle difficult conversations with employees
Having difficult conversations with employees is an essential part of effective leadership and management.
And while these conversations can be uncomfortable, they are also crucial for fostering a healthy, productive, and transparent work environment.
In this week’s Akyra blog, we explore why these conversations matter and provide clear tips on how to approach them effectively.
Why difficult conversations are important
Difficult conversations often involve providing constructive feedback which is vital for employees’ professional growth. When managers address performance issues or areas for improvement, they give employees the opportunity to learn, develop new skills and enhance their performance. Without these conversations, employees might remain unaware of their shortcomings and miss out on valuable growth opportunities.
Open and honest communication is the foundation of trust in any relationship, including the workplace. When managers are willing to have difficult conversations, it demonstrates their commitment to transparency and integrity. Employees are more likely to trust leaders who communicate openly, even when the news is not positive. This trust fosters a more collaborative and cohesive team environment.
Addressing problems early on can prevent them from escalating into more significant issues. Whether it’s a performance issue, a conflict between team members or a behavioural concern, tackling the issue head-on can lead to a quicker resolution. Procrastinating can result in decreased morale, productivity and higher employee turnover rates – things that we all want to avoid!
Holding difficult conversations reinforces the importance of accountability. When employees understand that their actions and performance are being monitored and addressed, they are more likely to take responsibility for their work. This accountability can lead to higher standards of performance and a stronger sense of ownership among team members.
Difficult conversations can also address interpersonal conflicts or misunderstandings within a team. By addressing these issues directly, managers can help resolve tensions and improve team dynamics, so the team becomes more productive, innovative and capable of more easily achieving collective goals.
10-point approach plan
While these types of conversations can be challenging, there are simple steps which can help you to manage them effectively.
- Conquer your fears
Let’s face it – no one likes conflict. This can cause you to turn a blind eye to issues festering on your teams. You might be hesitant to broach difficult conversations because you’re not sure how your employees will react, or you don’t want to escalate an already tense situation. But while such fears may be valid, the more you avoid confronting a problem, the more damaging it can become. So, if you’re waiting to have tough conversations with employees until you feel comfortable, don’t – because it’s likely that time will never come. It’s natural to feel uneasy, so don’t be afraid to tackle your fear head-on.
- Prepare thoroughly
Before initiating a difficult conversation, take the time to prepare. Gather all relevant information, including specific examples of the issue at hand. Consider the employee’s perspective and anticipate their reactions. This preparation will help you stay focused, provide clear, constructive feedback and not get taken down any rabbit holes by the employee.
- Choose the right setting
The environment in which you have the conversation can significantly impact its outcome. Choose a private, neutral setting where both you and the employee feel comfortable. This setting will encourage open dialogue and reduce the likelihood of distractions or interruptions.
- Be clear and specific
When discussing the issue, be clear and specific about what needs to be addressed. Focus on the facts… not inuendo or vague statements. This clarity helps the employee understand the problem and what is expected of them moving forward.
- Listen actively
Effective communication is a two-way street. Give the employee an opportunity to share their perspective and listen actively to their concerns. Try very hard not to use the word ‘why’… instead say ‘help me understand the situation”. This active listening demonstrates empathy and respect, and it can provide valuable insights into the root cause of the issue.
- Stay calm and composed
Take the emotion out of it. Emotions can run high during difficult conversations, but it’s essential you remain calm and composed and don’t get caught up in the employee’s vortex of emotions. Keep the conversation focused on the issue, not the person. Avoid blaming or criticizing. Instead, frame the discussion around finding solutions and improving performance.
- Know when to ask for assistance
If your meeting involves serious accusations, policy violations or an issue requiring disciplinary action, an HR representative should be present. If they’re unavailable, consider using another manager of the team. Never involve another employee. You’ll also want to brief this person on the situation ahead of time, so you’re both clear on your roles and responsibilities during the conversation – e.g. you might need them to observe and take notes or act as a mediator to help control emotional outbursts and ensure the discussion remains on track.
- Offer support and resources and be consistent
Show your commitment to helping the employee succeed by offering support and resources – e.g. additional training, mentoring or adjustments to their workload. Providing these resources demonstrates you are invested in their development and willing to help them overcome challenges.
Holding all employees accountable to the same performance and behavior expectations ensures all team members are treated equally. So, have the same difficult conversations with anyone who is slipping. You don’t want to make it seem like you’re alienating or picking on a certain individual or group. Otherwise, your organisational culture will suffer from disharmony, lack of trust and could be seen to be discriminatory.
- Keep it confidential
When sharing difficult feedback or handling a conflict between employees, it’s vital to maintain confidentiality – i.e. no one who isn’t involved in the situation should know about it. If other team members (or even someone in another team) catch wind of this sensitive information, rumours can spread; affecting morale, eroding trust and creating a toxic environment.
However, if an employee comes to you in confidence, make sure they understand you cannot guarantee 100% confidentiality. Depending on what they disclose, you may have a responsibility to act or inform others. Let them know you’ll protect their confidentiality as much as possible, but you’re also required to follow HR policies and the law.
As always, understand there are always three sides to the story: the employee who complained, the employee who was complained about and the truth.
- Check-in
At the end of your initial conversation, make sure the employee understands what you expect from them moving forward – otherwise, their behavior can creep back over time. As the situation begins to resolve, check in with follow-up discussions to reinforce positive efforts and identify future growth goals. Unlike the initial more difficult conversations, these periodic check-ins can be more organic and informal. This will demonstrate that you’re there for them and are truly invested in their continued growth.
What happens if an employee is resistant to the constructive feedback?
Handling resistance during difficult conversations can be challenging, but with the right approach, you can navigate these situations effectively.
As an example, imagine you’re discussing a performance issue with an employee who becomes defensive and denies there’s a problem. Here are some thoughts that might help you in this situation.
- Stay calm and say something like: “I understand this might be difficult to hear and I appreciate your willingness to discuss it.”
- Listen actively: “Can you share your perspective on the recent project outcomes?”
- Clarify: “It seems there might be a misunderstanding. Let me clarify the specific concerns I have.”
- Find common ground: “We both want to ensure your success. Let’s work together to identify how we can achieve that.”
- Provide support: “What resources or support do you think would help you improve in this area?”
- Stay focused: “This isn’t about you personally; it’s about finding ways to improve outcomes.”
- Check-in: “Let’s touch base next week to see how things are progressing and discuss any further support you might need.”
Another example is when you are introducing a new way of undertaking a process; but a team member disagrees, believing the current system works fine. Here are some suggestions as to how you might handle it.
- Acknowledge their perspective: “I understand you feel the current system is working well for you and I appreciate your feedback.”
- Explain your decision: “The new process provides ways we can improve our overall efficiency and collaboration – e.g. there are less steps involved in achieving the outcome that is currently the case.”
- Find common ground: “We both want to ensure our work run smoothly and efficiently. Let’s discuss how we can make this transition as seamless as possible.”
- Stay open to feedback: “Do you have any specific concerns about the new process? I’m open to hearing your thoughts and finding ways to address them.”
- Maintain professionalism: “I value your input and want to ensure we make the best decision for the business. Let’s work together to make this a success.”
- Reiterate expectations: “I’ll provide training sessions to help everyone get up to speed with the new process. If you need any additional support, please let me know.”
By approaching resistance with empathy, clarity and a collaborative mindset, you can turn difficult conversations into opportunities for growth and improvement.
Key takeaways
- While difficult conversations with employees can be challenging, they are a vital aspect of effective leadership.
- These conversations promote growth, build trust, prevent issues from escalating, enhance accountability, and improve team dynamics.
- By approaching these conversations with preparation, clarity, empathy, and support, you can foster a more positive and productive work environment.
- Remember, the goal is not to avoid difficult conversations but to handle them in a way that leads to constructive outcomes and strengthens the overall team.
Akyra can assist your business with your people management needs, including how to manage difficult conversations with employees. Contact us today for an obligation-free consultation.
Disclaimer – Reliance on Content
The material distributed is general information only. The information supplied is not intended to be legal or other professional advice, nor should it be relied upon as such. You should seek legal or professional advice in relation to your specific situation.
